Centrifugal
by Salazarfalcon
Summary: Rita gets rejected. Surprisingly, it's Judy who picks up the pieces.


**Centrifugal**

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Summary: Rita gets rejected. Surprisingly, it's Judy who picks up the pieces.

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AN: So...I don't actually ship this. This snap fic is a gift to a dear friend, Misty-Reeyus, who probably doesn't know that she's been instrumental in getting my useless ass writing again. This one's for you, darlin'. I'm sorry this is so short but...you know how it goes. You're the bomb.

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Estelle's very, very nice about it, which is to be expected. It's not like Rita ever expected it to work out in the first place but it might have made things easier if she could at least be a little bit angry about something.

Why couldn't Estelle have gotten mad or yelled or grossed out? Why couldn't she have done anything other than blink in surprise and then say very gently and with an equally gentle smile that she couldn't accept Rita's feelings? Why couldn't she have done anything at all that would have let Rita feel angry at her instead of just plain sad?

It should be better like this.

Rita should be happy that she's keeping one of her best friends and not losing her to weirdness because above everything else that's what she fears most, but she isn't. No, she's just sad. She feels the loss of something she never had in the first place and the warmth of Estelle's arms closing around her hurts just as much as it heals. This is why Rita stuck to blastia before they had to do away with them.

Blastia never hurt you and never made you wish for a blow instead of kindness.

That's Estelle, though, and Rita wouldn't be head over heels for her if not for that kindness. That's something so innate, so _Estelle_, that Rita can't even fathom it not being present. But it would make things so much easier. If Estelle had more like Rita, she would have known how much easier it would have been to be angry instead of sad, but the truth is that she's not and Rita doesn't like herself enough to think she'd fall in love with someone more like her.

_I'm sorry, Rita. I love you but I can't accept your feelings._

And that had been that. Rita had accepted the hug Estelle had offered and refused to cry with everything she had, at least until she'd reached her bedroom in Dahngrest where she'd then dropped to the floor and bawled until her eyes ached and there weren't any more tears.

That's where she sits now, unmoving but dry-eyed with her knees tucked up underneath her chin. Rita doesn't want to talk to anyone right now. Like, at all. The only other person who knows what happened is Estelle and she's not going to go around telling everyone, but Rita's in no mood to be consoled or possibly patronized by any of her friends. Not ever but especially not now.

She's ruminating (_not_ brooding!) when there's a knock on the door.

"What?" Rita's voice comes out in a hoarse croak and she regrets it instantly. The door creaks open and a familiar face peers in.

"Hi," the older girl says and comes in all the way, her hands laced behind her back. "We haven't seen you around much today. Are you alright?"

Rita is not alright.

Her silence is apparently enough of an answer that Judith pushes the door gently shut and approaches only to sink to the floor alongside her.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Rita does not want to talk about it.

Judith hums a little under her breath like she understands everything, but how could she when Rita hasn't said a word, when the differences between the two of them are vast enough to stretch the oceans? Judy's never been rejected, of this Rita is sure. Who would ever turn her down? The thought makes her both relieved and resentful.

"I told Estelle I liked her."

The words are out before Rita can put them back and she hates herself for them, but Judith doesn't look surprised.

She also, to her credit, does not ask how that confession went.

"I see," she says gently and shifts to bump Rita with her shoulder. "Was she surprised?"

That's a question that Rita didn't expect. Most people would have asked what the other girl had said but Judith knows better.

"I don't know." And that's the thing, Rita realizes. She has no idea whether Estelle saw this coming or whether she was broadsided by it. Rita spent weeks figuring out how she wanted to approach it but Estelle only saw the few minutes of their interaction. Or maybe she'd known for months and stayed quiet about it. Rita isn't sure whether it would have made things better if Estelle had said something before her. Maybe it would have.

Or maybe it would have made things so much worse.

"Estelle is very smart sometimes," Judy says simply, and Rita agrees, "But she's not perfect."

Does this have a point? Of course Estelle's not perfect; if she was she would have known (better than Rita, certainly) the best way to approach this and she definitely wouldn't have said no. But that's not fair either, that puts way too much pressure and responsibility on her and they're Rita's feelings and Rita's responsibility, not Estelle's, to deal with.

"And neither am I."

Rita doesn't see it coming at all when Judith leans in and kisses her just once on the mouth. It's over in less than a second but it's long enough for Rita's heart to start roaring in her head.

Over the din, all she can say is, "..._what_?"

Unflappable Judy is going slightly red and not looking directly at her. Unacceptable. Rita, too startled to do anything else, grabs her by the shoulders and tugs her around.

"_What the actual hell_?"

Instead of answering, Judith gets to her feet and approaches the closed door. Rita scrambles after her just before she opens it.

"Oh no you don't!"

Judy escapes down the stairs because Rita isn't willing to cause a scene- _yet_. Instead of pursuing her, Rita stands at the top of the staircase with a ridiculous look on her face, mouth slightly open and eyes wide.

Her lips tingle where Judy kissed her.

"You good?"

She jerks at the voice and whips around to see Yuri hanging half out of his room, one eyebrow raised. Rita stomps over to him.

"I'm going to kill her," she says simply and grabs Yuri by the arm. "Come on, I need a drink."

"What the-?" Yuri stammers, "Why are we drinking and who are we killing?"

Rita doesn't deign to answer him but the feelings of hopelessness and depression that had threatened to crush her have left and don't return the entire night, even when she sees Estelle later that evening and sees the look she gives Yuri, warm and affectionate and so obvious that Rita has no idea how she didn't see it before. Somehow it's a little okay.

Not perfect because nothing's perfect. No _one's_ perfect and Rita knows that better than anyone now. No one's perfect and every time she thinks that she remembers the feeling of Judy's lips on hers and the smile she gave her right before taking the stairs four at a time, and she thinks about it the next day when she accidentally-on-purpose runs into her Krityan friend, looks her right in the eyes, and pulls her in for a hug.

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AN2: Thank you for reading! If you like this, hated this, want to burn me at the stake, please leave a review and let me know; I'm still super rusty as far as the writing goes and I need all of the feedback I can get.


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